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The Belted Doctor, Chapter 11

Title: The Belted Doctor, Chapter 11

Author: tkel_paris</lj> , aka KendraC


Rating: High T, borderline M for (very) naughty humor, and some hints... Consider yourself warned.


Summary: A crack!fic inspired by a line from “Robin Hood: Men in Tights” and run for its life with. The Doctor is left with a very uncomfortable “protection” against unwanted advances. But will he find the one who is foretold to release him from his... prison?

Disclaimer: Mel Brooks owns “Men in Tights.” The BBC and others own “Doctor Who.” 'Nuff said.


Author's Note: I rather enjoyed writing Jenny's perspective on “The Unicorn and the Wasp.” The delights of having a character with so much knowledge, and yet so innocent about people... There's a reason they say, “Kids say the darnedest things!” In fact, I issue a challenge: re-write the episode assuming Jenny is there. I give blanket permission to use the bits between Jenny and Donna in what's the beginning of the adventure in your fic. Have fun with it!

P / 1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 / 6 / 7 / 8 / 9 / 10


CHAPTER ELEVEN: INSANITY IN THE 1920S

The Doctor had never been more grateful to get away from modern Earth. The biggest drawback to having Donna Noble as a companion was that he occasionally had to deal with Sylvia Noble, who still remained very unhappy with him – and made him rather uncomfortable. Mothers of companions usually did that to him, but this one pushed buttons that he didn't know he had. So he wasn't thrilled when Donna insisted on their sticking around so she could introduce Jenny.

But Sylvia had warmed up to Jenny, against every one of his expectations. So the woman who he wanted to give a good verbal thrashing to over how she treated Donna actually had maternal instincts. And when he saw how surprisingly gentle Sylvia was with Jenny, and how she was a good teacher, he got a glimpse into the childhood Donna must have had, and part of why Donna could never hate her mother.

And a brief painful reminder of one other thing that made it hard to push Rose Tyler aside; she'd reminded him of the people he'd just lost. Including Romana. Blimey! Life was never wholly black or white...

Of course, Wilf immediately loved Jenny, and promptly treated her like family. The old man even quickly came to insist, “If anyone asks, I want to introduce you as Jennifer Noble, my adopted great-granddaughter.”

Donna had looked like she was about to protest, thinking of the Doctor's hesitance toward domestic, and he was surprised that he didn't choke at the suggestion. But Jenny seemed to like the name, and the thought of having extra family. “Sounds nice, having a Nan and a Gramps,” she said. So Sylvia considered the issue settled.

Left her dad with nothing to do but sigh and nod. He did find some pleasure when Donna decided to give Jenny a middle name: Celeste. “It's from the Latin 'Caelestis,'” Donna explained, getting to trot out her knowledge of baby names, “meaning 'of the heavens,' and now pretty much meaning, 'of the stars.' Very fitting, I think.”

He couldn't disagree. It was perfect.

Although Donna's rather easy acceptance of the deal helped the Doctor feel better about the entire situation. If his daughter was happy having the Nobles as her family, then he could live a little vicariously through that. He even wished that Geoffrey Noble had survived; he suspected that he would have liked Donna's father, and that the old general would have been an excellent grandfather to Jenny.

But he still had his limits on how much of the domestic life he could hack. Donna's influence had only worked partial miracles...

So when it became clear that his ladies weren't thinking of moving on anytime soon, he had to come up with an adventure to coax them back into the TARDIS. And it finally came to him: England in the 1920s. He wasn't sure where the specific thought came from, but the TARDIS seemed to agree with him.

That should have been a clue that something would go very wrong...

Donna, apparently fascinated by the age of flappers, immediately agreed. Jenny was intrigued, and eager to see more of time and Earth.

That didn't stop Wilf and Sylvia from walking them back to the TARDIS. Wilf wanted to know, “So when you go places, how do you create cover stories? Surely sometimes you've got to blend in.”

The Doctor went into a quick explanation of the Psychic Paper. Wilf was suitably impressed, but Sylvia was staring at him, wondering just how bonkers this alien really was.

Donna would never answer that. As much as she enjoyed teasing him, she had too much respect for him to reveal that much.

Then Wilf voiced a thought that neither Donna nor the Doctor saw coming. “So then are the three of you just going to be a family? You know, a mum, a dad, and their girl?”

Two people stopped in shock, a third was baffled as to why they'd be so startled, a fourth was merely puzzled over the reactions, and the fifth's suspicious mind became rather speculative. “Ah,” the Doctor began, “well, we're always being mistaken for one, so we keep having to correct all sorts of people.”

Jenny had a prompt question, interrupting the attempt at deflection. “Did you ever convince them?”

Neither of her parents could find an answer to that. The Doctor found himself surprisingly calm over not being bothered by that (although he was puzzled over it), and Donna was startled to realize she wasn't concerned over the thought.

But to Sylvia Noble, this gave her a lot a food for thought. They might telling them truth when they said that they weren't together, but the Doctor seemed like he was having second thoughts about that. To her, Donna was approaching that point. She wasn't crazy about having aliens in the family, but Jenny was an innocent and rather lovable. Which meant tolerating the absolutely bonkers father who might have designs on her only child...

Just outside the TARDIS, Donna found a few things to say to her “girl's” father. “Oi, Spaceman, don't be so obvious next time about how eager you are to go off. Enough visits, and Jenny will have Mum sufficiently softened toward you that you'll have to at least tolerate her.”

“Wouldn't be so sure about that,” he muttered under his breath, in Gallifreyan. Might make my life easier, but how much do I really want a companion's mother to like me? Isn't that awfully domestic...?

“Nan doesn't like Dad? Why?”

Donna was delighted over the opportunity to launch into a narrative of their first meeting, expounding on all of the impossible things that happened. The Doctor kept interjecting with comments of his own, which made the banter rather entertaining to Jenny – and stunning Sylvia and Wilf.

When he went miffed over having been slapped, Donna merely smiled. “Snapped you out of a great big self-pity fit, now didn't it?”

When she complained about being pursued by the TARDIS, he exclaimed, “I still didn't know how you could've appeared in the TARDIS in the first place. Did you really think I wouldn't give up on finding the answers?”

And when she growled over his miscalculating her weight, he retorted, “How often do you think I have anything to do with weddings? I'm rubbish at them, especially my own!”

It didn't occur to either just how many questions they would later have to field or dodge over that. Especially from Sylvia.

Although highly entertained, Wilf knew he had to do something. “Donna, sweetheart, maybe it is time for the three of you to set off. He's looking rather antsy, so I'm guessing he's had enough of regular Earth for the moment. Besides, do you two really want to give us more to speculate about?”

Syliva silently scoffed. She waited until the blue box had disappeared – God, she couldn't imagine getting used to seeing it vanish like that – before she told her father, “Don't know whether I should hope for genius grandchildren, or remain absolutely worried about Donna's life. Are they really sure they're not together?”

Wilf patted her arm. “I think they're figuring it out. They're both probably over-thinking things, and ignoring the basic, important stuff.”




Jenny made numerous observations during the adventure, although some she was pretty sure she should never say out loud. At the start, she asked her new Mum, “Why is Dad so irritated that we're changing into era-appropriate clothes?”

“Women always need to take more time than men do to look good. It's a curse and a gift. Though it's nice to see yet another thing prove universal to all males: impatience over the time female beauty routines require.”

Jenny was quickly distracted from pursuing that line of thought by having to learn to walk like a lady and not a soldier. These shoes, she had thought as she practiced the steps inside the wardrobe, are utterly impractical! How could anyone run in them?!

And why, she soon wondered, was Dad so bothered by seeing me in that dress? He didn't mind what Mum was wearing at all! He even said she looked lovely!

Her mum must have sensed the first part of her thoughts as they walked toward the party (with him “leading” them on his arms), because she said, “Jenny, it's a natural instinct for fathers to be uncomfortable when reminded that their daughter is a young lady. Means they want to be all protective, make sure that other men know to treat their little girl with respect.”

Interesting. That would explain his interjecting upon her being introduced to Lady Eddison's son, but not the interjecting when her mother was lightly flirted with...

Watching her parents being awkward when Mrs. Christie – whose work Mum insisted that she would read when they returned home – tagged them as a couple before they were introduced formally was quite amusing. If she had known more about how to interact with humans who had no clue about aliens, she would have had a lot of fun at her parents' expense.

She also felt that they had never convinced anyone with their old “we're not a couple” act. Apparently outsiders really could have more knowledge about what was happening...

The smell of alcohol was strange to her, and she wondered why anyone would want to dull their senses. Perhaps that was the soldier in her talking, but she supposed she might try it under controlled conditions – if her dad ever let her out of his sight long enough; he'd insisted she have what he did, which was rather bland... Mum's sidecar – whatever it is – smells nice, she noted for reference.

She wondered at how readily people followed her dad's instructions, and what might happen if someone was too bright to be fooled by the psychic paper... And whether it would hurt her dad's pride to think a cover story through sometimes...

Jenny also had no clue what her mum meant by saying that “all the decent men are on the other bus,” but she'd found her dad's offense at the comment funny. Nan and Gramps had been looking at them with something like the curiosity she'd seen in Aunt Martha's face. Do people always make assumptions about a man and a woman who are around each other, she wondered. What was the fascination?

The real-life murder mystery, and how it seemed to resemble one of Mrs. Christie's novels, was a great challenge to her young Time-Lady mind. Her soldier training proved useful in evaluating possible exits and paths to explore, although she knew enough to let her parents – who were practically experts compared to her – take the lead.

Mrs. Christie's life made her wonder why people would keep going for love when it could so clearly hurt them. She did marvel at the obvious resilience of humans, and wondered if that could be found in other races.

The biggest thoughts were triggered by the attempt to poison her father. It was her grand introduction to fear and horror, the thought that she might lose him. If she hadn't been so scared, watching him flapping around for the components of the antidote would have seemed... bizarre.

But then there was the shock he needed. I get, Jenny later thought, that Mum thought a kiss would work since they're “not a couple,” but did she have to also grab his rear?

“It was for appearances,” Donna protested back in the TARDIS, after they'd found that special Agatha Christie novel and even visited the author on her deathbed. “Since we're supposed to be married, I figured that such a blatant public display of... attraction and lust... would cover for us.”

Really, Jenny wondered. He looked knocked completely off kilter by that kiss. I think, even through the whole disgusting ingredients taste, he liked it!

She decided then and there that the only people her parents were fooling were themselves. How much longer could the act carry on...?



Chapter 12: Spoilers, Illusions, and Fear

Comments

( 2 comments — Leave a comment )
Carolyn Harrison
Apr. 3rd, 2015 08:25 am (UTC)
I'm with the Doctor on this one. Sylvia should only have to be endured in very small doses.

Jenny is right. The Doctor and Donna never convinced anyone that they weren't a couple. I love it when Jenny has to try walking in high heels.

I really liked seeing this chapter from Jenny's point of view.

I've always loved the Doctor's reaction to Donna's 'on the other bus' comment.
tkel_paris
Apr. 3rd, 2015 08:55 am (UTC)
Not without her behavior being explained and her getting a chance to be redeemed, like Jackie got.

Ah, yes. All the details that she could've asked about. Talk about a comedy gold mine that was dismissed. Would've naturally led to more speculation about the Doctor and Donna, which I suppose was not in the plans of TPTB. Shame on them.

Oh, yes. How was that line not a total come on? He was totally getting fed up with being thought of as a skinny streak of nothing.
( 2 comments — Leave a comment )

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