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The Belted Doctor, Chapter 1

Title: The Belted Doctor, Chapter 1

Author: tkel_paris</lj> , aka KendraC

Rating: High T, borderline M for (very) naughty humor, and some hints... Consider yourself warned.

Summary: A crack!fic inspired by a line from “Robin Hood: Men in Tights” and run for its life with. The Doctor is left with a very uncomfortable “protection” against unwanted advances. But will he find the one who is foretold to release him from his... prison?

Disclaimer: Mel Brooks owns “Men in Tights.” The BBC and others own “Doctor Who.” 'Nuff said.

Author's Note: I don't think I said it in the last part, but I want to thank bas_math_girl for being a great beta. She helped me catch the things that I didn't know about the Who universe. Thank you, sweetie!



Rose was going to the bathroom, talking with Jackie about something. The Doctor really hadn't caught what it was; he was adjusting to his new, younger body and its unique mindset. Besides, saving Earth at Christmas-time was proving to be a tradition. It seemed as though the universe enjoyed conspiring against him during Earth's most popular Christian holiday.

That was enough to distract anybody.

And then the not-snow would start falling soon. He suspected that this little family would be disgusted when he told them what it really was.

But something was nagging him about the time that he spent unconscious. This was the worst part about regenerating, the temporary memory lapses. Sometimes things weren't remembered until much, much later – to his infinite chagrin.

“It's strange to see you with a different face,” Mickey Smith observed, taking the time to openly stare at him now that the danger was completely passed.

The Doctor shrugged, still slightly enjoying his Arthur Dent-like jim-jams. “Well, this is my tenth face and body. A few of my companions saw me through a regeneration, so you're not the first to adjust to seeing a new me.”

The detail of how many hims there had been threw Mickey's already confused mind for another loop. “Yeah, but Rose – if you didn't know any better – hardly seemed phased. Subdued, but hardly phased.”

A shrug. “She saw me change.”

Mickey thought a moment, and sounded somber. “I guess if you've seen Earth's death, things look a little different to you.”

The change in Mickey's demeanor caught the Doctor's attention. “You speak as if that's a bad thing.”

The young man's face turned a bit bitter. “Hey, we were going out and happy before you arrived. Now... she clearly likes you better and thinks nothing of going off with you – and without a word to any of us.”

A man who sees time pass in ways that no normal mortal could learns a lot about how beings with shorter lives perceive things – if he bothered to pay attention. Although, the Doctor knew that he often did things that his companions considered absolutely crazy because of that enormous difference in how the universe seemed. For the first time, he began to wonder how rubbish he really was at recognizing feelings – whether they were his or others.

Which didn't bode well for the whole finding that woman Romana saw... And with that thought, the missing link appeared in a flash. Which brought a flush to his face as a potential problem emerged. “Mickey?” The question was barely audible.

Both eyebrows raised, startled. “Yeah?”

His eyes dropped to the borrowed clothes of some lover of Jackie Tyler. “Who changed my clothes?” The question was rushed, and the Doctor hated the squeak he detected in his voice.

Mickey grinned. “Me.”

Oi. Sometimes his companions really enjoyed his discomfort. And they dared to call him cheeky.

“Didn't like the idea of Rose doing it, and neither did Jackie.” Shadows of negative emotions crossed his face. “Took a little convincing, but she finally relented when I urged her to see if your box had any ideas for helping you. Fat good her checking did in the end, but at least she didn't take any peeks, if that's what you're worried about.”

The Doctor heaved a massive sigh. Oh, thank Rassillion! That was a conversation he didn't want to ever have! Not with someone so young... He supposed a jealous Earth lad had a right to be amused over the situation, so he wouldn't hold it against Mickey.

“Which reminds me,” Mickey added thoughtfully. “Nice pair of boxer-briefs. Can't believe they still fit you after changing.”

“Oh! Um, ah, um, yes. Well, somethings are able to conform to the wearer's changing needs. Nice little detail; saves me some time after transformation.” Oh, did his babbling have to get worse when he was embarrassed? Why couldn't he just be rendered silent?

That odd glint in Micket's eyes said that he suspected there was more to the story than that, but he didn't press it. Clearly, a bright smile coupled with rambling was unconvincing. “Oh, don't worry. I didn't try to take them off. Wasn't eager to see what alien dangling things you might have under there.”

Strange. The Doctor had this vague memory of Jackie's incredulous voice asking, “Anything else he's got two of?” He really wondered what else had happened while he was unconscious.

Well, there was one way to find out, and he had the perfect person to ask. “Mickey, just so I know, how did Rose act while I was out?” The question served a second purpose: helping him reassess his behavior toward Rose, who was plainly not mature enough to be that woman.

Mickey shifted his weight repeatedly as he said, “Well, I tried to get her to focus on getting into the Christmas spirit, to focus on her and me. All she would think about was you and how she felt abandoned.”

Good lord, how thick could this Earth girl be? “I was bloody unconscious! And really, I hadn't told her about regenerating until I knew it was imminent. Why should she feel abandoned?”

“I think it had more to do with those... What did you call them? Pilot fish! And then Earth being in danger.”

Okay... This was not good, The Doctor thought. Rose Tyler clearly felt far more strongly about him than he did – or COULD – about her. More to the point, she lacked other things to be a mate mate to him.

Well, maybe Mickey needed to stick around more. “Listen to me, Mickey Smith.” He kept his voice low; he wasn't quite ready to tell any of this to the women. “I see Rose as a friend. My first one since... I lost my people. That makes her important, but she is JUST a friend in my hearts. I can NEVER be what she needs. Please stick around. Maybe she'll see that you're growing up and are a far better fit for her.”

He had to hope for that. One day, The Doctor and Rose would part ways. He just didn't want to have to force her to leave – which he feared that he might... He wasn't ready to be alone again...

Chapter 2: The Past and Asking for Forgiveness


( 6 comments — Leave a comment )
Oct. 28th, 2013 06:55 pm (UTC)
"Oi. Sometimes his companions really enjoyed his discomfort."
Well, of course, silly Spaceman. It's not often we mere humans can get something over the mighty Time Lord. So sue us for taking that advantage when it (so rarely) arises!! :D

“Oh, don't worry. I didn't try to take them off. Wasn't eager to see what alien dangling things you might have under there.”
Well, thank Rassilon for that!! That should be left to the likes of us, eh?!!? I, for one, and definitely interested in knowing about the dangling things!! :DDDD

At least he's coming to the correct conclusions: that Rose is not the right woman; that Rose feels far more for him than he does for her; and that Mickey is a better man than he first realized.
Apr. 3rd, 2015 01:49 am (UTC)
Gee, I missed that I never answered this one. Oops. :(

Couldn't resist. What does he expect given how he acts? :D

Well, a certain captain would like to be in line for it. ;)

Just needs more time to fully reach the correct conclusions though, didn't he? Silly Time Lord. :P
Carolyn Harrison
Apr. 2nd, 2015 08:10 pm (UTC)
What does Ten have against Mickey? Why should he get stuck with Rose? Mickey definetly deserves to be with Martha.
However embarrassed the Doctor is here though, I don't think it quite tops what happened between his 6th self and Peri when he regenerated from his 5th self. Trying to strangle your companion is not the best way to introduce them to the 'new' you.
Apr. 3rd, 2015 01:48 am (UTC)
Remember, he's still got incorrect perceptions of Mickey at this point. They still needed to work out their issues.

True, that. He's just probably not fully remembering right now.
Dec. 27th, 2015 07:35 pm (UTC)
Rose isnt mature enough to be a matemate. *snickers*. The saddest part is that everyone else matured amazingly during their time with the Doctor. Even Jack to a degree but never Rose. It was strange really and kinda sad too.
Dec. 28th, 2015 12:49 am (UTC)
Jack actually matured more than anyone. His transformation was the greatest, I think. With others it was more allowing their real selves to come forward. Yes, it is sad because she could've been an undeniable role model for overcoming past beliefs and your own circumstances.
( 6 comments — Leave a comment )

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