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The Belted Doctor, Chapter 14

Title: The Belted Doctor, Chapter 14

Author: tkel_paris</lj> , aka KendraC

Rating: High T, borderline M for (very) naughty humor, and some hints... Consider yourself warned.

Summary: A crack!fic inspired by a line from “Robin Hood: Men in Tights” and run for its life with. The Doctor is left with a very uncomfortable “protection” against unwanted advances. But will he find the one who is foretold to release him from his... prison?

Disclaimer: Mel Brooks owns “Men in Tights.” The BBC and others own “Doctor Who.” 'Nuff said.

Author's Note: The money chapter, people! Thank you for your patience. This is as close as this story comes to crossing the line into M, as it turns out, but it doesn't quite make it. Whew!

P / 1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 / 6 / 7 / 8 / 9 / 10 / 11 / 12 / 13


Neither person could move or speak. The truth had hit them both with the unstoppable power of a mega tsunami.

“I saw it last night,” Donna whispered, “after we left the Library. I was so drained that it barely registered. TARDIS pointed it out to me this morning, but I ignored it, claiming I needed to relax.” Her hand trembled, and her heart was galloping like a stampede.

His hearts had lost all clear rhythm. All this time, he slowly realized, I worried about nothing...?

Well, Donna thought as she swallowed, no point in keeping it a secret now. “In the computer, I woke in some hospital. A Dr. Moon was in charge, and he introduced me to Jenny – who came to as a small child, unbelievably confused by that state – and her... “father,” John Smith.”

The Doctor caught the connection immediately. Still, he whispered, “Me?”

She nodded, still unable to look away from the key, either. The inscribed words were taunting her. “Life in the computer was like the... grammar of the telly: it jumped from place to place, and time to time. Before I knew it, I was married, gained a step-daughter – you know, we never knew who the computer thought was her birth mother; that was never revealed even to Jenny – and soon had twins.”

“Joshua and Ella.” He swallowed. “Was it... What was it like?”

Donna found this part the hardest to say. “It... felt... so nice. Like it was meant to be. When I was back in the Library proper, I first thought it created a version of you because it would make it easier to convince Jenny and me that we were in reality. But it didn't explain why I was so saddened to lose... 'you.' And it soon dawned on me that my own feelings had been growing steadily the whole of our journey together – sometimes in leaps and bounds.” She didn't dare voice the thought that something might have started back when he'd done all those nice things for her after saving her life that first time.

They stood stock still, both trying to wrap their minds around everything that the key in Donna's hand represented. “I've always wondered,” the Doctor finally spoke, “what this moment would be like. When I thought it wasn't possible for you to be Her, I was dreading it. Because it surely meant that you would leave – and I didn't want that.”

She managed a smile. “I hadn't intended to until I was sure that she could stand up to you, stop you. Didn't think that your Time-Lady would think I could keep doing it. But I'm worried about what happens... to you... after I die.”

His breath hitched. He'd been avoiding thinking about this; it was too close to their adventures' risks. He hoped that her insecurities, fears were talking – driven by the nerves of the moment. “Donna-”

“I need a promise from you,” she interrupted. “Promise me that you'll never go too far once I'm gone. That, somehow, the memory of me and the influence of... our children...” (God, that sounds so strange, she felt.) “...will be enough to restrain you.”

Given how far he nearly went that first time they met, the Doctor understood her concern, and suspected that she needed the assurance that grief wouldn't drive him into such depths again. I hope we have long enough together that I can build that strength. “I promise I'll never betray your memory, in any way.” It was the only thing he could say – and he would make good on it. No matter what it cost him.

A huge sigh escaped Donna's mouth, taking a bunch of tension away with it into the ether. It relaxed him as well, although neither made any move toward the other.

Donna suddenly laughed. “God, what are we? Teenagers about to have their first time?”

He felt a wry grin cross his face. “Our first together. But I know what you mean about this jittery business. Never thought I'd actually get something I wanted and it wouldn't hurt the universe. It still feels impossible.”

She grinned. He talks at his fastest when he's anxious... “Don't you mean just a bit... unlikely?”

“Oi!” Somehow, the teasing was pushing more of the tension, the anxiety away. And yet they still couldn't move.

God, this tension is gonna build again if we don't do something, Donna thought. So she tapped into the wit that had gotten her through a lot of situations. “Well, I never thought I'd be the one to say this to you, but... Doctor, it's time to drop trou!”

They both blushed, the insanity evident to both. He exhaled with an awkward laugh and closed the door behind him. Not letting Jenny or Lee find out about this, he thought. There are some things a child never needs to know about their parents...

Donna's shaking didn't decrease as she watched his own hands fumble with getting the belt undone. He's just as nervous as I am, she marveled. Why isn't that knowledge comforting me?

He wasn't doing much better, although his fingers – they picked a fine time to lose all coordination, he silently grumbled – finally managed to undo the buttons and zipper. Yet he couldn't make his hands lower the pants. I'm not having performance anxiety, am I?!

She had to gulp down a new wave of nerves. “Do I have to come over and pull them down?!” Oh, God, I sounded like a tiny child there with that squeak! Can't have him thinking I'm not interested!

Okay, he told himself, it's time to find out what happens next... And he pushed the trousers over his hips. But couldn't move any further.

This is such a comical image, Donna noted, seeing him with pants around his ankles and his Converse still on. Thank God I have enough restraint to not laugh... Although she had to note on the apparent slot for the key, “I hope that those are bigger than they look, 'cause it looks like I could hurt you putting it in there.”

The Doctor blushed again, glancing down. “Yeah, they're like the TARDIS or my pockets.”

A thought crossed her awareness, and it seemed worth voicing. “Was that keyhole visible to Mickey...?”

The blush became stronger. “Shouldn't have been. Not that much. It should've looked just like a design to his eyes. Perception filter apparently was on. Which I should've realized at the time, but things were too new for me to remember certain obvious things...”

And, since she enjoyed a naughty joke, Donna had to observe, “She just had to place it strategically, didn't she?”

Looking down, through the dangling shirt, he realized that she was right. So this, he thought, is what it feels like when people say their face burn from embarrassment... He could only clear his throat, and nod.

Better get this first part over with, Donna sighed. She slowly approached him, adjusting the key until she just barely had a grip on its edge. “So this is the first time you've seen your... little Time-Lord... since your Eighth self? You never got to know what your last self was packing, which sounds really strange – for a male.”

Although he knew she was babbling to cover her nerves, the Doctor was struck by the point she raised. Really, he hadn't given it much thought; too much anger over still being alive and then figuring out how to keep saving the universe. “Well,” he squeaked, “I hope I'm not one of those men who are obsessed with their own equipment.”

She smirked. “Guess we'll be finding out what you got this time, won't we?”

He recalled hearing rumors that Earth females discussed male size amongst themselves. Please, he prayed, let her be at least okay with whatever differences there are between me and human males...

Donna smiled over his obvious discomfort, and felt a bit of courage return as she stopped. It was within her reach without straining, and now... “What's that word you like to use before we go on an adventure?”

A smile crossed his face at the attempt to comfort them both. “Allons-y.”

She smiled back, still filled with nerves. “Allons-y, then.” So she carefully inserted the key...

And they both screamed as bright, golden light exploded around them.

As their eyes adjusted to the brightness, they became aware of a ghostly figure appearing next to them. You've found each other at last.

The Doctor faced the figure in complete shock. “Romana?!”

Donna's head whipped to face the image of the woman whose influence had haunted him for years. How-?

Raise your hands to each other's head. Doctor, show her where.

He slowly did, guiding her hands until her fingers touched his head like his had hers on the Oodsphere, and then brought his own to those same spots. How can she be here, he thought in disbelief, and why is she doing this?

Donna hoped that he had figured out what this hands-on-the-head thing was about, but his own confusion did nothing to relieve hers. Then a chanting began in what Donna knew had to be Gallifreyan even thought she couldn't understand it. Soon, she felt something pressing against her waking mind – something that wouldn't be tangible to anyone else but her and the Doctor. Moments later, she realized it was like the Oodsphere times an ungodly number. Then she suddenly understood Romana's words – and realized that she could now literally feel the Doctor's emotions. (The only ones she could plainly identify were shock, disbelief, uncertainty, gratitude, and love.)

I now entrust you, Donna Noble, Romana said after finishing the chant, the most important woman in all of Creation, with the hearts of the last living son of Gallifrey. Go forth, and be magnificent together. Raise a new generation of Children of Gallifrey to be what the Time-Lords ought to have been. And may you finally be happy and at peace, my Doctor...

Donna could feel the regret and sadness in the woman's voice, and just knew that it took a lot of character to be able to let the man you love go into another woman's arms. And all for the sake of the future. Does that mean I have her respect and trust...?

Then the light faded, leaving the Doctor and Donna standing still, hands still touching each other's head. It was then that they realized they'd been staring into each other's eyes from the moment Romana had given the first instructions. Only when his hands numbly left her head did she let hers fall back to her sides. “What just happened,” Donna whispered. “What did she do?”

The Doctor was stunned as his mind sifted through the results, and his own Time-Lord knowledge. She... She created a psychic link between us.

Donna gasped. “I can hear you in my mind like I can the TARDIS!”

He nodded numbly. And you can now speak in the same way to me. Just focus on communicating with me...

Startled, Donna couldn't think for a moment. But then she tried. Like this?

A beaming smile shone on his face. Yes, you did it!

Donna's eyes searched his. But what's this about? And how can a human be able to do this?

He had to think about both of her questions for a moment. I'd... I'd forgotten about this, but sometimes two Gallifreyans developed such a bond that they wanted to be linked for as long as they both lived. Marriages happened without them all the time, but those particular couples sought the highest, most sacred marriage bond known to Time-Lords. It allows them to remain connected through regenerations. So few ever reached that state because you had to be so sure about it, have thought through the implications.

She couldn't help her smirk. In other words, no wonder you never experienced this.

Oi! Even when she rattled his cage, it was hard to stay angry at Donna. Probably a good thing, given how hard she slapped. But he added, I suppose Romana figured out a way for a human's mind to permit such a bond. I'm not sure how, though...

Donna laughed out loud, but the sound was practically musical to both of their ears from sheer relief. “So we're married?” Good, I still speak.

He had to remember how to talk again, but he managed, “Yep.” Now he knew that feeling he had when he saw Donna at Adipose Industries was euphoria; he was feeling it again, only exponentially stronger.

They both let out shrieks of joy, relieved that the universe wasn't separating them, and threw their arms around each other for a huge hug... and both gasped as something... very hard... said hello to Donna.

The Doctor let out a big curse in Gallifreyan as he remembered one of Romana's warnings from back before the Time Lock. His arms reflexively clutched her, but he trembled from the struggle to keep still. “Donna, she warned me that every suppressed urge would come back with a vengeance once the Belt was off. I have no way to know how much self-control this body has regarding libido...”

Through the bond, Donna felt the sudden onslaught of his desire – all focused on her. Oh, God, she thought in a momentary panic, am I always going to become aroused if he is?!

“I wish I... knew, Donna,” he ground out, struggling with the haze his mind was in and yet still sensing her worry. “Having... trouble thinking; this... whole thing is... new for me.”

Well, she thought as she gathered her courage, better have mercy on him – before he explodes in a way I don't want. Trying for levity, she said, “Guess you'd better get those pants completely off before we trip over them.”

She'd never seen him move so quickly, or agree with her without a hint of disagreement. Not that she had time to comment; his hands drew her mouth to his because he couldn't resist any longer. And she stopped thinking completely as his hands began their own journey...


Some time later, Jenny was wandering through the TARDIS halls. Lee had finally fallen asleep from their long day, but she couldn't rest. Worry about her dad's mental state, and about her parents' future, kept her mind from relaxing. So she wanted to check on her mum to see what happened.

And determine whether she would need to nick her dad's Sonic for a little closet-style matchmaking...

When she saw the tea had been abandoned and two chairs knocked over, she got very concerned. Immediately she went hunting for her parents – or at least her mother.

Soon she felt that the ship was giving her the run-around – as her mother had described the Old Girl's habit of making you lose your way a few times in the maze of hallways – and stopped, crossing her arms in a huff. “Come on! I just want to talk with Mum!”

TARDIS made a murmur of disapproval. Before Jenny could argue, she saw the rooms shift again, and finally spotted Donna's room. She rushed forward, but stopped in a bigger hurry.

On the door was a sign that wasn't there before. In Gallifreyan, it read: “Privacy, Please. Do Not Disturb.”

She had to think about that; she'd never seen anything like it. Then TARDIS nudged her with a mental wink. And she got it. “You did it, Old Girl! You got them to see the light!”

Then the implications of what the sign meant hit her young, innocent mind. She ran to her bathroom, hit with the sudden horror – mixed with a bit of nausea – of realizing that her parents were shagging.

Chapter 15: Facing Family and Friends


( 7 comments — Leave a comment )
May. 21st, 2011 07:23 am (UTC)
Woo hoo! Go Doctor and Donna, finally getting their groove on.
Jun. 12th, 2011 08:40 pm (UTC)
FInally getting a chance to catch up with this story, and the long awaited for consummation, and then it cut off! Gah so much intensity, so much lead up! I love all the mutual trembling interspersed with banter and snark, so very them!
Jun. 12th, 2011 09:26 pm (UTC)
It IS just them, isn't it? I recall it giving me trouble as I was writing it, and I was so relieved to finish it. Like I said, I haven't done smut in a long while... Like... over six years...
Carolyn Harrison
Apr. 3rd, 2015 10:22 am (UTC)
I'm surprised neither of them mentioned the fact that Romana left a piece of herself in the Belt, over a very strategic spot.

I'm with Jenny, no child wants to think about that! Let alone know for a fact that's what their doing!

Agatha Christie is my favorite mystery writer because all of the deaths take place off screen. I loved that you did that here with the love scene.

Bonded/Married through out his regenerations? Yes! Thank you!
Apr. 6th, 2015 06:11 pm (UTC)
Next chapter. I think I did that next chapter.

Yeah. Leads to a lot of issues later on in this story. :/

You're right. I never thought about that before. Well, most of the time I feel awkward about including love scenes. They HAVE to contribute something to the plot, or provide a really funny moment or collection of lines, to be worth my writing.

Welcome. :)
Dec. 27th, 2015 09:37 pm (UTC)
Oh that was just so awesome! I am sorry if I have overwhelmed you with commenting on nearly every chapter so far but I loved the roller coaster ride that these two are so good at. Weaving Jenny into the telling was done just brilliantly and I love that Lee got a happy ending as well!!
Dec. 28th, 2015 02:17 am (UTC)
Actually, I like seeing loads of reviews. It helps given that the recipients for my two major fics being posted aren't able to review right now. Don't know if you're noticing them, but one you'll need to read two other stories to make sense of it. :)
( 7 comments — Leave a comment )

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