Title: The Doctor's Wandering Eye
Rating: heavy T (suggestive moments, ogling)
Summary: Donna's noticed that Martian Boy's eyes are straying. Does he really just want a mate? She's skeptical – and fishing for answers.
Disclaimer: I might not own these two, but I didn't imagine him looking like he was looking in that direction. I know that much! :D
Dedication: tardis_mole. I was joking about something with him, and this fic was born out of that. Posted in honor of nipponophile05's birthday. (And yes, sweetie, this could be considered a bribe to continue writing your stories, especially “Something in the Water”. ;D)
Author's Note: I needed something to write on May 19, and something fun to write, since I was going to a wedding later in the day. (Oh, so beautiful! I wept several times during the ceremony.) I wrote the first page of this in a local burger joint that I only get to enjoy whenever I'm in that part of the world, waiting until it was time to go over to the historical church. (It was also beautiful.)
If you want to know the dress I'm referring to, go to bas_math_girl's LiveJournal page and look at her icons. There's one with an impressive display from Catherine Tate. Let's just say I'm surprised she didn't cause a traffic accident wearing that dress. :DDDD Oh, and a shout-out to ellyfanfic since she had Ten call a dress Donna was wearing in Zoology a “marvel”. Was THE Dress the inspiration? ;)
The Doctor's Wandering Eye
Started May 19, 2012
Finished December 30, 2012
Donna pulled out her journal. Well, the one she'd started since meeting the Doctor. It used to not even have his name in it. Out of fear that someone would read it and ask her questions. But she'd had to put down her thoughts and memories so she could figure things out.
She continued writing in it now that she was aboard, so she could keep track of things. Like what kinds of aliens she met, the worlds she visited, the times and anything else that captured her imagination. But there was one thing she was keeping track of more than anything else: how Spaceman reacted to her.
Because what he said he wanted wasn't matching up with what his actions said.
She opened her journal and wrote:
Equivalent of April 12, 2008 – whatever the hell it is today:
I caught him at it again! I didn't even think I was wearing anything particularly flattering to the girls, and yet I saw his eyes drift there again! It's like he doesn't even know he's doing it! He's truly just like any Earth bloke – looking at boobs! I started wearing things to cover up just to check, and it doesn't stop him. Just lessens the frequency – a bit. Mind, I wear anything that shows cleavage and he blinks for a long moment before looking away with a blush – looking back a bit later, if things aren't crazy.
This is becoming an old story. First the wedding day. Then Pompeii, when he freed me. I think he looked just before we left the TARDIS for the Ood planet. And we've had few other “incidents” like that ever since I came aboard. There's no rhyme or reason to it!
Got to wonder...did he really mean that he just wants friendship from me?
Donna sighed. She flipped back to the previous entries. One piece of her entry about the very first meeting stood out:
But if he's an alien, why did he look down my dress?! I saw him, I did – but I was so fixated on getting to the church on time that I was too angry in general to focus enough to slap him for his cheek! And the bugger did it again on the roof! I'm sure he did it at least once on his ship when I'd realized I was in space. Might've done it more times than I know of. Oi! Maybe I did the right thing in turning him down, that outer space pervert!
The accusation sounded hollow within days. And she wrote down why:
Oh, God. No wonder he or any male – no, anyone attracted to boobs – might've looked. I added to the trend in wedding dresses, the whole “would you like a preview, sweetheart? I'll share it with everyone at the church, including your dad and the poor priest who can't get any” thing.
Yeah. I can't blame him for being an outer space bloke.
She'd come to like the Doctor much more than she felt comfortable admitting. Maybe from the day they met. Not that she could probably act on it – a temp just wasn't good enough for the most amazing man in the universe. Besides, hadn't he lost someone special to him? So she wasn't expecting anything – just hoping to be his friend and be let aboard.
Mind, he did seem rather eager for her to join him, even with that whole weird speech about how he messed things up with Martha.
And there was one thing that made her confused where Rose was concerned. The TARDIS didn't seem to like hearing about her, which suggested that Rose did something to anger the ship. Also, the Doctor didn't talk about her at all. Even when she'd brought her up inside that Adipose cupboard, he hadn't had any of the upset she'd seen last time. Had he moved on emotionally?
Given the ship's reactions, it made her wonder if the Doctor was as attached to Rose as he'd thought he'd been. Martha might have helped him lose the focus a bit, although what had that cost the poor girl? She hoped she'd get the chance to ask her one day.
Now she had a new mystery to solve. Did the Doctor desire her and want to be more than just mates?
After all, they must be giving something off that screamed “couple” if only one person thought they were something other than married – after they'd denied being married. Especially him – he had to be giving off something!
Of course, it couldn't just be him. Not when she wasn't willing to admit, not after his “mates” speech, that she wasn't adverse to mating with him. But could she ever let him know?
She was going to find her answers tonight. After all, she had the perfect dress to test him with. Now to talk him into dinner on board.
Donna approached the dining room. Apparently, it hadn't been so outfitted for any other companion. The TARDIS seemed to like her a lot, and even created a kitchen for her. She could hear the Doctor moving around inside.
Then she heard his voice. “I don't understand it, Old Girl. Why are you focusing so hard on making this so nice for Donna? Mind, I want her to be happy and have a good time, but this...this is a bit close to a date. As in a date-date.” He sounded nervous, but there was something else mixed in. Something that almost sounded like eagerness. “Don't you think? Do you even know what you're doing?”
She looked around the corner in time to see him leaning on a hand against the wall. A quick zap from the wall – which Donna could hear – silenced those thoughts and made him jump.
He flinched, rubbing his jolted hand. “Oi! What's your problem, Old Girl?!”
Time to announce her presence. “You picked up the mallet again?”
He turned toward his companion's voice, and froze solid. His jaw felt like it fell to the floor and his eyes seemed to pop wider than dinner plates in an instant – not to mention fixed on one location.
Not, if he could've produced the coherence for thought, that any male – or any person who was attracted to the female figure – would have or could have faulted him. The dress Donna was wearing was an engineering marvel. Not to mention a staying over marvel. Nothing less. How could it possibly make her curves look even more amazing than they already were?!
He had no idea he was all but drooling.
From the doorway, Donna suppressed a smirk. Yep, he was undeniably staring here. Her proof was in his expression. She posed a little, all but preening. “See anything you like?”
He barely heard the words. He just nodded. “Uh, huh.”
Picture of distraction, Donna mused. “So,” she drawled, strutting into the room with a sway, “what was that business about then when I came aboard?”
His eyes followed the progress of her unusually ample cleavage. “What?” he managed.
She came right next to him, well aware that he now had a look at her bra for sure, and reached a finger to tip his head up. Then she smirked. “My eyes are up here, Sunshine.”
His face had never turned such an intense shade of red. Oh, Rassilon, he'd been caught looking! Worse, he'd probably not been as discreet as he'd thought... or hoped. Which meant she'd caught on to his distraction, adjusting the front of his trousers, and sneaking off for half an hour every so often.
Donna held him still. “So is that why you wanted me around? To look down my shirt every so often?”
Face like a cooked lobster, the Doctor shook his head like a wet dog, forcing her hand to drop to his chest. “No, no, no, no, no! Nope! Never! Donna, you're a person! You have compassion for people even if they did you wrong, you give them what-for when they need it, you stop me when I go too far, and you're the best friend ever. The males who only looked at you for your...amazing figure...ought to be slapped. And publicly humiliated.”
The intensity of the declaration – and hint of protectiveness – told Donna there was a lot not being said. “Okay, I'm checking. You like what you see, but you brought me aboard because you actually like my company more?”
“Yes.” He was adamant and prayed it came across.
He was a horrible liar, so she knew he was telling the truth. “But I'm just a placeholder for Rose, aren't I?”
He shook his head almost as much as when she'd accused him. “No, Donna. It was never like that. I ran into her at the darkest moment of my life. Her innocence reminded me to live again, but that was even more complicated than with Martha. She...held expectations of me that I couldn't meet – and I had no idea how to tell her no. It just wasn't healthy. For either of us.”
She dropped her hand and put her hands on her hips. She'd fold her arms, except that would put her at risk of falling out. “Wait, you mean you didn't love Rose?”
“No.” It was surest time he ever said the word. The most confident in his answer, and also the quietest.
It was Donna's turn for a dropped jaw.
He cleared his throat and forced himself to keep looking at her stunned eyes. “I really did just want a mate. It's just that you are a magnificent person and my best friend ever – in all of my life. Not to mention utterly beautiful. You say you're lucky, but I'm the lucky one. I got the best end of this bargain, Donna, when you invited yourself aboard. I would've agreed to anything to get you to stay. I was just terrified of messing things up.”
“I could say that your not being honest about finding me attractive could've provoked a much stronger and less understanding reaction from me, Spaceman.”
He blinked. “Then, why wear...?” He kept his hands at his sides, to keep from gesturing and his hands getting too close to places he knew they had no business being near.
“Wanted to get some undeniable evidence one way or another whether you were looking at my chest.”
He coughed, feeling very warm and uncomfortable in places he'd never felt uncomfortable before. “Donna,” he choked. “That dress might provoke a reaction in a dead man.”
And – until Donna – he'd had ample reason to think he was dead. In that area, at least. Even Reinette hadn't been able to get a reaction. And there was no table to hide how glad he was to be proven wrong.
Her eyebrows raised. Well, that was probably the most flattering thing ever said. She grinned. “So just to clear the air, what do you want from me? Or should I say with me?”
He gulped. He couldn't see what might happen next, but he had no other choice – he might get slapped either way. “I...I don't want you to leave. I want you by my side as long as you're able, as long as you're willing. I'm hoping you'll always be my best friend and...I'll never ask for more than you're willing to give. I won't even ask for much from you.”
She held up a hand and silenced him with a finger. “You're babbling. As usual. I'm going to travel with you forever. You need an understanding friend and I'm accepting of all sorts of people. And you have treated me better than even my dad and granddad have. So all those things are fine. But what do you really want from me?” She lowered her hand to his shoulder.
He tucked his hands in his pockets, safest place for them considering her proximity, his body shaking a bit. “Um...I, well, uh, I want-”
She couldn't stop a laugh. “Oh, you have a lot of trouble expressing your real feelings, don't you?”
His face turned red again. Still, he nodded. There was nothing else for it.
Donna placed her hands over his hearts, noting how he stiffened and closed his eyes, sucking in a breath. A grin crossed her face. “Let's try simple yes or no questions. Can you manage that?”
He gulped hard. Yet he nodded.
Nodding herself, she thought a moment to choose her order. “Do you find me attractive?”
He nodded vigorously.
“You obviously like my boobs. Want to look under the clothes?”
He thought his face would catch fire, but he nodded slowly, keeping his eyes tightly closed. He didn't dare look into her eyes.
“You want me around for as close to forever as we can manage?”
Still burning, he nodded.
The wheels in her head were clicking. She didn't think her imagination could be right, but...it had to be asked. “So, in one sentence, what do you want from me? You have to answer this one aloud. Sorry.”
The minx didn't sound sorry. Much. He swallowed, but still kept his eyes shut as he spoke – unwilling to face what he was sure would be ultimate rejection, despite her understanding nature underneath that bolshy exterior. He had to take a deep breath first. “You'll never agree, since I'm an alien, but... it would... I wish that you... might want to be my wife.”
Her hands dropped to her sides in shock. “What?!” She couldn't help the exclamation.
He backed away, eyes still closed as he rubbed his neck. He wished he could hide. “Okay, I'm an idiot, I'll admit it. But I was in love with you from the day we met. Time Lords can see all sorts of things when we meet a person. It goes beyond anything your senses can detect. For the first time, I could see a future with someone, but you didn't want me. You still don't. I accept that.”
Donna's face was wide open. This never happened in her wildest dreams – which was proof it was real.
Although the depth of feeling in his eyes pretty much said the same thing. Even when they were shut.
He swallowed, forcing the flood of words to slow down. “I'll never say anything about it again. I'll just be your best mate. I'll even...” He gulped, bile forming in his throat. The words came out super soft as he hung his head. “I'll even help you find someone who can give you lifelong marriage and motherhood, if you want? What I want doesn't matter compared with what you want. What I want has never mattered to the universe.”
His insecurities, she suddenly realized, ran as deep as her own. Maybe deeper. Had he had anyone who supported him where it mattered to a person?
The silence and lack of action was making the Doctor jittery. “Donna, if you're going to slap me, please – I beg you – do it now.”
Donna thought her heart would break. There was only one thing for it. She'd have to take charge. Which had been the downfall of nearly all of her relationships in a way. She hoped this didn't make things worse.
The Doctor heard her approach, and waited for the slap, eyes still closed. But when he felt both her hands gently touch his cheeks, his respiratory bypass kicked in from the shock. But nothing compared to suddenly feeling Donna's lips on his.
Aside from how he smelled and his cooler body, there wasn't anything alien about the kiss. She didn't let it last long – just several seconds. Enough to snap him out of his mood. She released his lips, but not his cheeks, and remained close.
His breath returned in a rush. His eyes slammed open and stared at her. He didn't know that his hearts could beat so fast, or that he could feel winded from a short little activity. Or that kissing could feel and taste that fantastic!
Never mind that the view was even better from this angle. Although her lips now might claim a lot of his attention, despite how much his eyes were drawn to their favorite sight.
Donna grinned softly, knowing her grin had to rival his goofiest. “Let's have dinner, my love.”
His grin started to appear, dazed and not quite certain that he wasn't dreaming. Let alone if he'd hallucinated that last part.
Her insanely happy face twinkled. “And then, if you're a good boy and can manage to look at my face instead of my chest, I might let you unzip my dress.”
He was instantly cooperative, despite the difficulty it caused his concentration. But he remained cooperative for the rest of the night, not to mention the rest of her days.
FIC: The Doctor's Wandering Eye (1/1)
Title: The Doctor's Wandering Eye