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FIC: Amalgamation (3/5?)

Yeah, it grew. Enjoy the madhouse within.

Title: Amalgamation
Series: (none)
Rating: T for the first two parts (naughty comments among... other stuff) and M for the final
Authors: tkel_paris and tardis_mole
Summary: The Meta-Crisis transforms Donna Noble in a way that only Caan could foresee. No one is prepared for what comes next.
Disclaimer: That this didn't happen proves I own nothing.
Dedication: tardis_mole. I was asking for ideas for another story's ending, and the third idea triggered this plot balrog. I doubt moley will mind. ;D
Author's Note: Various medical issues coming to play. Along with psychological ones. Be prepared for a ride.

Originally posted for
ellyfanfic's birthday last month. Am slowly finishing it.

And as of Chapter Three, tardis_mole is now the co-author. I got stuck, and my beta saved me. So much that I feel it's only right to give co-author credit from here on.

And... language warning here. This is a strong T here for that reason.

Chapter One / Chapter Two


Wilfred opened the door with a whoop. “Here she is, she's safe!” He tugged Donna into a bear hug, which was promptly returned.

Donna took a deep breath, taking in her grandfather's scent with a new perspective. The scent memories from before were expanded by the extra depths of Gallifreyan senses. She was hit by a sudden wave of memories that weren't hers, but she couldn't quite make sense of them. Head-mate, does he remind you of anyone?

She could feel a sniffle in his thoughts. Oddly enough, the Doctor's mother. Something about how he smells and the wisdom he has.

“Where is she?!” cried Sylvia, rushing to join them. “Donna!” She almost pushed her own father away to clutch her only child to her.

The Doctor was relieved that Donna was being welcomed home as she should be, but he was waiting to see if Sylvia would revert to form when they told their story.

Things seemed to be going well until Wilfred suddenly noticed something. “Donna, when did you start wearing contacts? What's wrong with your natural eye colour?”

The Doctor stiffened. “You have good eyesight, Wilf.”

“Well, no, I'm not that good. But her eyes don't look the same.”

Donna cleared her throat and had them sit down in the front room, with tea.

Thus began the worst thirty minutes of the Doctor's life thus far. Well, aside from having to explain to Jackie why he hadn't punished Rose before. Donna forced him to explain to her family where he was from, the concept of regeneration, and what happened up until he was parted from Donna and the TARDIS. She allowed him to continue with what he saw and how Donna had saved Creation, and finally when he demanded answers for how she knew what she knew.

So Donna had the delicate task of explaining that. “Seems you're not supposed to touch a Time Lord during regeneration or while the regeneration energy is still active. And the hand was absolutely full of it. But there was this pair of heartbeats I kept hearing all day, calling out to me. It was at its strongest when I thought the TARDIS and I were about to die. I remembered how he'd said it was alive, and I guess I thought only of comforting it. But... the energy took over me and... the next thing I knew I was getting up and hitting buttons. I saved the TARDIS. I had no idea how I did it until I heard his voice in my head. But it wasn't quite his voice. The tone sounded... more like me. Turned out... something happened that's never happened before. The Hand fused with me. I'm now not just Donna but also the Hand. Instead of just a daughter, now you have a child who has a vanished twin and has both genders, Mum.”

There was absolute silence.

Sylvia's mouth worked repeatedly, but no sound came out. Wilfred struggled to make any words form. At last he did.

“So... what's that mean for you? Are you going to be all right?”

The Doctor leaned forward. “I scanned them once we sent everyone else home. Their joined brain is stable, and so is their DNA. As long as I keep the perception filters active and they don't go to any Earth physicians, they'll be safe.”

There was a long silence as Sylvia struggled to find something to say. It was a rare moment when a Noble or a Mott woman was speechless.

Wilfred found something. “Well, you always wanted a son.”

Sylvia scowled. “I can't see a man there, only Donna.”

Donna's body scoffed. “I could prove that I'm also a bloke.”

The tone, so like the Doctor's and yet with Donna's lip, startled the room.

Suddenly her head jerked. “Oi, Head-Mate! That's uncalled for!”

“Uncalled for? I'll give you uncalled for! You touched me!”

“You started yelling at me to touch you!”

“You were supposed to bloody touch and let go, Earth Girl. But no. You fucking held on. Like a bloody wart!”

“Don't call me a wart, Martian Boy! Anyway, how was I supposed to know this would happen?!”

“Ignorance is no fucking excuse! The Doctor already warned you months ago, you stupid cow!”

“Don't call me that, Head Case! Or should I call you Rose Tyler with that mouth?!”

“Don't you dare call me anything like her! And you're the bloody head case! You're going senile like my mummykins!”

“She's my mother! Not yours!”

“You'll have to learn to bloody share. Queenie can't even tell us apart!”

“Enough!” Sylvia snapped crossly, taking the initiative.

Donna and the Duplicate both fell silent, staring at her in utter shock. She’d shouted at Donna before, but it was usually condescending this or dismissing that. Never had she spoken to her daughter or anyone else that Donna could recall, in that tone. She was half scared out of her mind, but there was an understanding there that had been absent before.

Wilfred looked on with eyes the size of television screens, utterly mesmerised and utterly confounded by the scene before him. He was barely able to draw breath. The Doctor, opposite him, was attempting to speak, but had no idea what to say. Or even if he should say something, in the event that he could think of it.

This was Sylvia’s call. Finally she could take control of something in her life, even if it was vicariously through her daughter.

“There are rules in my house, my dad’s house,” she corrected instantly, as her father gave a wordless inquiry. “First of all, no fighting. I never allowed Donna to fight with her cousins or school friends when she was a child, and I am not having you two fighting now. You’re both adults so you can jolly well act like it! And don’t you dare push me too far, cos I can still give a clout good enough to stun the flea in your ear, and believe you me, if I have to clout you both I will. But if I were clout you both at the same time I’d deafen you. So let that be a warning to you!”

The Doctor turned his head, straightened in surprise and blinked at her.

“Second rule; language, sunshine. You’ve got a mouth on you that would turn a sailor red in the face. If I ever caught Donna using language like that I’d have washed her mouth out with soap. Don’t make me go back on my word and do it again!”

Wilfred wiped the sudden grin off his face. Now was not the time for amusement.

“Third rule; don’t you dare ever drag someone else into your squabbles or insult people who can’t fight back and never, absolutely never do you ever dare try and trick me into thinking you’re the other twin. Because I’ll tell you both right now, I can tell which one is speaking. I might be getting on towards retirement, but I am not senile!”

The Doctor turned away slightly, but only because he was trying not to laugh. It had taken him more than three hours to work out which was which. He had to hand it to this woman. She was brilliant.

“Forth rule: let me make one thing absolutely clear. Flattery will get you nowhere. Call me queenie again and I’ll make you wash the floor with a toothbrush. And Mummykins is further than a no-no, sunshine. Mum is who I am and don’t you forget it. Mother, if you must, but one more Mummykins out of you and I’ll read you the Riot Act. Is that understood?”

Wilfred stuffed a finger between his teeth to control a desperately close to exploding outburst, and succeeded where many would fail. He noticed the Doctor turning red in the face behind his tightly clamped hand.

Donna and her unwitting lodger were silent for several more seconds, before she spoke first. “Yes, Mum,” she said, the tight tinge to her voice aimed at her head-mate.

“Sorry,” he spoke. “Really sorry. Very understood... Mum.”

Donna firmly shut her mouth before more apologies could dribble out from the obvious crawler. Her voice though continued, muffled and indistinguishable, for several seconds, before the Duplicate got the hint. Donna’s face looked like she was holding someone under a blanket, but finally it stopped moving. She relaxed with relief.

The room was silent again. Until Donna’s hands suddenly flung themselves up in the air in frustration and flopped back down again. Donna rolled her eyes. But it was more than Wilfred or the Doctor could take.

They both fell about laughing and slowly Sylvia had to smile.

“Dad, Doctor, this isn’t funny.” She gave a silent chuckle and cleared her throat. “Donna and whatever you’ve called yourself, you both need to work out how you’re going to live like this. Doctor, can they be separated?”

“At this particular point, no. I still need to perform more tests as the brain stem and brain itself rewires itself. It may be that once it has done, the second brain will emerge. At that point I’ll know more,” the Doctor explained. “Until then, Donna and my erm...” he fished for a description. “Brother-in-law?” he suggested slowly. “Are fused in one body.”

“Wife?” Wilfred erupted in delight.

Donna blinked at him. “Hang on, mate, I hadn’t even got to that bit!”


“You’re married?” Sylvia rejoined.

“Yeah. His head in mine sort of transferred his name and in Gallifreyan society that’s a marriage vow. Personal names are hidden from everyone except the spouse.”

“Oh dear,” Sylvia intoned. “Well, your brother is not going to enjoy the wedding night, is he?”

All at once, the Duplicate went berserk, rushing around the room, shouting at the top of his lungs – all about how unfair that was that he was basically trapped and unable to enjoy any of his own desires.

Except that Donna had enough control that she wisely shut her mouth and covered it with both hands. Not a lot she could do about her legs, though. Would have been comical, had it been a stand-up act.

The Doctor reached out as they passed and stopped them, lifting Donna off the floor so that her legs moved but they remained where they were. After a moment the legs stopped and the Doctor lowered Donna back to the floor. He could see Donna’s grateful look in her otherwise angry eyes. And the Duplicate was still yelling.

“Be quiet!” the Doctor snapped calmly.

Like a light bulb going out, he stopped.

The Doctor turned to his mother-in-law and sighed tightly. “We haven’t decided how we’re going to handle affection and intimacy yet,” he told her. “I’d have to find a genetically targeted anaesthetic. Or more accurately, invent one.”

There was a scream behind Donna’s hand. But it wasn’t hers.

“Stop it!” the Doctor snapped. “You’re showing yourself up!” When the scream stopped he turned back to Sylvia. “Thank you for accepting them as two different people. On my planet they would both have been executed. Or worse.”

“What’s worse than that?”

“Torture, experimentation. My people were as cruel to each other as they were to others. Probably the only moment where equality meant something,” he supposed tiredly. “I love Donna. I would have married her if this hadn’t happened. She has already told me that she loves me. Well, you know Donna. It was more gruff and ‘come here so I can punch you in the face’ sort of declaration, but it still counts.”

“Oh here we go,” Wilfred resigned himself. “She had a play fight with –what was his name, the one with the pink hair?”

Donna carefully pealed her hand away from her mouth and sighed. “That was Trinity. And he wasn’t a he, shi was a dual. And it wasn’t play-fighting. We were doing demonstration wrestling for charity.”

The Doctor lifted one brow at her. He vowed to himself to try that, since the twinkle in her eye and the pink tinge to her cheeks told him it was something more involved than wrestling. Not sexually, he knew that, but still. He just couldn’t imagine Donna wrestling. “Was that in mud?” he blurted out before he could stop himself.

Donna’s mouth fell open. The Duplicate was more stunned that the Doctor actually voiced the thought.

“No,” he cut in before she could. “I don’t want to know. In fact I didn’t mean to ask. It was for charity and you had fun. I’ll leave it at that.”

“How about dinner?” Sylvia interrupted before Donna, with her arms crossed, could start on him with one of her rants.

“Yes, please,” the Doctor responded eyeing a very dangerous-looking woman out of the corner of his eye.

“I think you’re scaring him,” the Duplicate muttered.

“Shut up,” Donna snapped.

“I’m just saying-”

“Shut up.”

“That!” Sylvia barked. “Is your last warning!”

Chapter Four: Family Time


( 16 comments — Leave a comment )
Oct. 6th, 2014 02:27 am (UTC)
Oh this is the best ever. I'm laughing at Donna and the Duplicate arguing. That is the best image ever. :D

Loved it.

~Ali ♥︎
Oct. 6th, 2014 04:00 am (UTC)
Yes, it was too good to not use. :D And so is your icon.

Thank you. Been a weird weekend, but I got a lot of writing and beta work done. Here's hoping I get even more done soon.

Oct. 6th, 2014 09:35 am (UTC)
Wow, the two of them were hilarious!

I absolutely loved the way Sylvia, once she got over her shock, took control of the situation and laid down the law. She can be alright, must have been to have a daughter like Donna. She can also be very scary, even to the Doctor, who has faced down Daleks! And the males (other than "Head-mate") struggling to keep in their laughter at the antics.

So... Sylvia is accepting Donna/Head-mate as two individuals, and the Doctor as Donna's husband. On to dinner!

Edited at 2014-10-06 01:35 pm (UTC)
Oct. 6th, 2014 11:26 am (UTC)
*giggles* Thank you. And thank TM for helping me crack a very nasty writer's block by taking up the mantle. :D
Oct. 6th, 2014 12:06 pm (UTC)
This chapter was a lot of fun! The argument, the suppression, the declarations, and Sylvia being wonderfully Sylvia.
I'd pay money to see the Doctor grabbing hold of Donna as she/they flailed. :DDD

Edited at 2014-10-06 04:07 pm (UTC)
Oct. 6th, 2014 03:21 pm (UTC)
*giggles* Thank Moley for that one. And for the details of the argument. And much of this chapter. :D

Edited at 2014-10-06 07:22 pm (UTC)
Oct. 6th, 2014 03:58 pm (UTC)
That. Was. Hysterical! :D :D :D

I am so loving the tkel_paris/tardis_mole production. Can't wait for the next chapter. :)
Oct. 6th, 2014 06:00 pm (UTC)

Welcome. :D

(Sorry, but LJ is resetting my icon. It doesn't take until I edit it.)

Edited at 2014-10-06 10:00 pm (UTC)
Oct. 7th, 2014 09:09 am (UTC)
I think what I love most about your work is the attention to detail an the obvious amount of thought you put into creating your scenarios. You have an internal consistency to your stories, a logical flow, and the dialog adds such a light touch to necessary conversations that, in a less talented writer's hands, might be seen as either mere exposition or candy-floss fluff. I always enjoy reading what you write for this and many other reasons. I'm looking forward to the continuation of this and given Head-Mate's reaction to the inevitable prospect of Ten/Donna intimacy, I'm going to enjoy the resolution of that situation.
Oct. 7th, 2014 01:23 pm (UTC)
*blushes* You'll give me a complex at this rate. *hugs* Thank you.
Oct. 8th, 2014 08:14 am (UTC)
Wow. Sylvia took that will, didn't she?
I expected more resistance, but I love how with player out. :-)
Oct. 8th, 2014 05:19 pm (UTC)
It could've definitely been worse. :/

Oct. 8th, 2014 10:57 pm (UTC)
I was falling asleep writing the review, sorry about the bad writing.

Can't wait for the next part!
Oct. 8th, 2014 05:11 pm (UTC)
HAHAHAHA!! I love the argument between Donna and her headmate! I love this series and can't wait for the next part!

Oh! Did you see that Vincent D'Onofrio is going to be in the new Robert Downey Jr. movie that comes out Friday? I can't wait to see it!
Oct. 8th, 2014 05:19 pm (UTC)
You know what? Me, too. Just have another story I'm finishing first. :)

I didn't know that! Which movie? What's the part?
Oct. 8th, 2014 05:24 pm (UTC)
It's called The Judge. I think he plays he plays Robert's brother. I saw the preview the other night and about had a fit! I haven't seen him in anything in so long! It comes out on my birthday so going to see it is my gift to myself. :D
( 16 comments — Leave a comment )

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